btw, Happy Belated Bday to:

Nurlinati (22nd March)
Tcer Zaiton(26 March)

*May the both of you are blessed with a happy life till eternity. Amin.

salamullah alaikum wa rahmatuhu wa barakatuhu,

it's one thing to pretend, it's another thing to bear the consequences. i know that now things are as blur as my sight. as i take a step foward, i experience new things in my life. i've been living in this unpredictable and glorious world for 15 years and so, and i hope i will live longer, as i want to achieve my dreams which i have been keeping for a long time. i know that whoever reads this will ask what i am writing about, for your information, recently i've been in a world of ups and downs. eventually ,this peculiar experience of mine really teaches me what is the meaning of life. Until now, i cant find the time (even a minute) to revise my studies, to play with my siblings, to talk with my teachers and most importantly, to have a normal conversation with my parents. It's as if i am clinging to the peak of a cliff and it's just a matter of time to let go of my grip. It hurts a lot (emotionally, physically and mentally). I prefer to suffer in silence to getting everybody involve in this intimidating situation. Yes, i'm not troubling anyone, but the fact that everyday ppl worry about me is so wrong. I have wasted a lot of everyone's time, energy and effort. It's so wrong to make people sad. I rather put on a fake happy face than to show the sorrow in me. Let Allah only who knows my real problem.

i've been thinking of changing institution. However, i have the hunch that it will be more complicated there as i only know a handful of ppl. hmmm..

salam alaikum.



as the moon shone bright,
in the darkness of clear blue skies,
my mind drifted to stories of past,
remembering everything was like killing,
killing a heart that once a shine to everyone,
then slowly faded until there was none,
angling and aiming,
to where the foot brought her,
just like being in a quizzical puzzle,
where parts of it were missing,
there was no way she could find them,
she..

to be continued..

salam alaikum.

it's just the footsteps and my heart beating,

the path i've chosen,

it's uncertain,

roaming the world,

with thirst of affection,

but in return,

my foot start to bleed,

my mind starts to wonder,

and my heart is getting weaker,

my sight is getting fader,

i should not regret,

as the pain is the cure itself.